Remembering
by dreams of infinities
Summary: Merlin meets a group of young children, hungry for stories. But as he remembers more and more, the pain grows. And what is different about this particular group of children?
1. Chapter 1

** Hi guys! This is my second Merlin fanfic. I'm only writing it because I have terrible writer's block on my other one, so updates will probably be very irregular. Constructive comments are welcome, and I'd love it if I could have a few reviews (they remind me to update).**

**Please read and enjoy!**

He had sat there a long time.

It was lonely, immortality. As could be expected, he was... a little strange. "Stay away from old Mr. Emrys," parents warned their children, and the children were scared of him. Sometimes the daring ones would run up to his door and knock, and, sighing, he would watch through the windows as they scurried away.

Sometimes he would think of Arthur. Morgana. Gwen. Gaius. Sometimes he would smile slightly, fondly remembering them. Sometimes he would regret decisions he'd made. Sometimes he'd be glad of them. He looked through the window at people, closely examining a child's eyes, a baby's hair. There was only one person, one small girl, who looked straight back. She stared at him, and, once, she smiled, before her mother dragged her away.

He had sat there a long time.

In old age, he was weak, and though his body had once been filled with strength, he now tired easily. It was lonely in his little house, identical to every other in its street. He was cold. He was sad. The spark that once filled his clear blue eyes was gone. Which was why, when the girl knocked on the small white door, he let her in.

She told him that her name was Morwenna. She came in, sat down. She asked him to tell her a story, from when he was young.

And for the first time in many, many years, Merlin smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

"Tell me, my child, have you ever heard of King Arthur?"

"No," she said shortly, but not in a rude way.

"He was a king who was and will be."

"That doesn't make sense. You only live once."

"Not this king. He was different. He will live again. He had lots of adventures, and there are lots of stories about him."

"Can you tell me one?"

"Oh!" He laughed, "I can tell you all of them. But where to start?"

* * *

_ Once, a boy named Merlin lived in a little town called Ealdor. But as things changed, he left, and journeyed to a city named Camelot._

"Hang on," she said.

"Yes?"

"Boys from towns don't become kings. Not unless they marry queens, and you didn't say anything about a queen."

"Very good. But this boy became servant to a prince, and when the prince's father died he became king."

"Oh."

_ When Merlin arrived, he saw a man die. His head was chopped off. _

"Merlin's?"

"No," he laughed, "Not Merlin's. The man's."

_Merlin found the court physician, Gaius, who told him that magic was illegal. Gaius gave him a bed and some food, and a job. Soon, the Lady Helen came to Camelot. She had a marvellous singing voice, and there was to be a magnificent feast to celebrate._

_ Merlin delivered a potion to her chambers, but when he was there he found a little straw doll and a book in her room. He ran away._

"Was the woman Lady Helen?"

"Yes."

_In the marketplace, Merlin met the Prince. He'd met him before, and got put in prison for it, so they didn't like each other much._

He smiled at the memory.

_They started to tease each other, and then started fighting._

He thought he'd adapt the story a little, to make it more enjoyable.

_Merlin used magic when nobody was looking to win the fight. Arthur tripped over and fell... Fell into a pile of horse manure._

She giggled. He, too, smiled. Arthur would not be thrilled with this new version.

_On the day of the feast, everyone was excited. The king introduced the Lady Helen, and she began to sing._

_ As she sang, everyone fell asleep. Cobwebs grew over them. Merlin quickly covered his ears. He used magic to..._

He paused, not wanting to upset her.

_ To keep her mouth shut, so she wouldn't be able to sing. Angry, she took out a dagger and threw it at the prince. Merlin slowed the dagger down and pushed Prince Arthur out of his chair. Lady Helen turned back into the old woman - Mary Collins was her name - and disappeared._

_Uther clapped, and awarded Merlin the position of Arthur's manservant._

She snorted.

He laughed as well, and patted her on the head.

"How about some tea?" he asked, and she grimaced. "Hot chocolate." he said, and she grinned.

* * *

"I'm afraid, my dear, that you must go. It will be dark soon. Do your parents know where you are?"

"Mam doesn't get home until nine. Dad... Yeah. It's lonely on my own in the house. Mam leaves me tea to heat up."

"Would you like me to walk back with you?"

She smiled at him. "Yes, please. Can you tell me about something else? Other people?"

"Why not? There was Gwen, Morgana, Gaius, Uther. Then there were all the knights: Gwaine, Percival, Leon, Lancelot, Elyan. There was Arthur, but you'll hear more about him later, and Merlin. Who would you like to know about?"

"One of the knights. Gw- Gwynn?"

"Gwaine. He was a funny one. Before we met him, he would spend all of his time in the tav- the, um, pub. He had a noble heart, though, and he became one of the best knights. Uther banished him from Camelot, but he came back when Arthur made him a knight."

"Tell me about Arthur."

"Arthur. Well. To be honest, he was noble, and brave, but... he was a prat."

"That's all you have to say about him?"

"Pretty much. Is this your house?"

She surprised him then by hugging him around the middle. "Thank you, Mr Emrys! Can I come back tomorrow?"

"Of course," he said, slightly taken aback, "If your mother doesn't mind."

"She won't!"

She skipped into the house, and Merlin whistled all the way home. Remembering had been painful, but now that someone knew, he felt a sense of relief. Goodnight, he thought to Arthur, as he passed the lake. A lorry zoomed past, and he carried on walking.

* * *

"Morwenna, sweetie, bedtime."

"Mam?"

"Yes?"

"Who was King Arthur?"

"He was a very famous king. Go to sleep, now."

"One more thing?"

"Quickly," said Viv, tired and slightly irritated.

"Is Mr. Emrys a bad man?"

"No, dearie."

"Can I visit him?"

"Probably best stay away. You don't know who he is."

"Night night."

"Love you."

Morwenna took some cakes to school the next day, to give to him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Here we go again! In case anyone was wondering, the chapters _will _get longer, and I will introduces more characters later on. Please read and review!**

He had come to look forward to to her visits; he knew that, ultimately, she would leave him - as had the others - to face immortality, but it was nice to have a friend. A friend for now.

He looked out the window, seeing a group of boys walk past. They didn't look like a particularly _nice _group of boys, to be honest, with hoodies pulled up over their heads and their shoulders slouched. They came across another boy, alone, with dark hair. Merlin watched as they stopped, started talking to him. One of them gave him a push, and some others joined in. He crouched down on the floor.

Merlin's eyes widened as a circle of fire surrounded the boy. The others stumbled backwards. One of them screamed. He was out of the door before they could go any further, his eyes glowing gold. Immediately, their eyes glazed over, being replaced with a dull, lifeless expression. Calmly, he put the flames out, picked the boy up in his arms and took him inside.

He sat him down, beside the fire, and gave him one of the biscuits that Morwenna had given him earlier that week. "What's your name?" he asked gently.

The boy snivelled. "Meridian."

"How old are you?"

"Seven."

"What did you do, Meridian? Have you done things like that before?"

He nodded mutely. It was true; he had done things like that in the past. An occasional wind whipping up when he was angry. A huge electric storm coming when he was born. He'd just seen it as something supernatural. Meridian knew he was different. Just not... that different. He was in shock. Merlin gave him a cup of tea, with three sugars.

* * *

A knock at the door brought Merlin out of his seat. He opened it to find Morwenna looking distressed. "I heard something happened to Meridian. Do you know about him?"

"He's in here," he smiled, "A bit upset, but perfectly fine." She trotted in after him.

"Can you tell us another story? A funny one?"

"A funny one, you say? I think I can manage that."

* * *

_Merlin was scrubbing the floors, again. Arthur liked to make him scrub the floors. Gaius too. So, in time, he had got really quite good at it. So, though it had taken a while, the floor was clean. Spotlessly clean. So, as you can imagine, he was annoyed when Arthur came in and walked all over it._

* * *

They both giggled, but when he simply looked at them, his eyes twinkling, his mouth firmly closed, Meridian asked, "Is that it?"

"Would you like anything more?"

"It's- it's not really a... story, is it?"

"Why ever not? It has words, a plotline, a climax. It has an ending, a beginning. What else do they teach you children these days?"

"Nothing, but it's very, um, short, isn't it?"

"There's nothing wrong with a short story. Would you like another one?"

They nodded eagerly.

* * *

_ Arthur and Morgana had known each other for a very long time. People like that often liked to argue, and they were no exception. They were like siblings._

Like, he thought. Were.

_Of course, they were fond of each other really. People like that often are. But they'd never admit it. One day, they were arguing. Arthur was angry, and he took two swords, and handed one to Morgana. They fought for a bit, and she beat him._

Morwenna laughed, but Meridian was confused.

"What's so funny about that?"

Morwenna said immediately, keen to show her knowledge, "Girls didn't fight at all in those days. Besides, Arthur was really full of himself. He wouldn't be to happy."

"Quite," said Merlin, "Arthur didn't take it too well. Oh! If you could have met him..."

"Did you meet him?"

"Did you meet him?" he laughed, "I think it's home time."

* * *

"Meridian?"

"Yes?"

"Where have you been?! I was worried sick!"

"Sorry, Mam."

"Where?"

"With- with- Morwenna Graham."

"Not soft on her, are you?"

"No, Mam."

"Well, don't do it again. Go to bed."

He went.

* * *

Merlin sat. He'd gotten quite good at it, over the years. Meridian was on his mind. Who was he? Magic had died out a long time ago; somewhere in the early seventeenth century. There had been frauds, of course, but Merlin knew true magic when he saw it, and this was true magic. Had Arthur risen again? Was this his new protector?

But surely, then, Arthur would have made an appearance. Maybe Morwenna...? No. Not Morwenna. It was nonsense. How could she be? She was noble, yes, but not made like that. The dragon had lied, as he'd known all along, and he had to give up hoping. Arthur was gone.

Meridian. Meridian. What to do? He'd have to keep him hidden, of course, but how? Should he give him lessons? But what if he told Morwenna? They seemed to know each other quite well...

Merlin sat in his chair, thinking, and nobody saw the swirling mess that was his thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ooh, a review already! Thank you ever so much to zendog, my first reviewer, and to those people who followed/favourited this fic. I will try and update regularly, but I have hardly any free time and it can get hard. Please note that this fic does skip time, so the children have heard more stories than it seems! Please enjoy!**

"Once upon a time," said Morwenna, "There was a king who was and will be." Some of the children giggled and several looked confused. "His name was Arthur."

"Have you been finding out about the Arthurian legend?" her teacher smiled.

"Maybe," she said vaguely, "But I don't know what that is."

"Carry on, then."

"He had a manservant, named Merlin. Merlin was a young man who had magic, even though magic was outlawed in Camelot."

"Hang on," said the teacher, "That's not quite r-"

"_Shh_," said Meridian from the back of the room. The teacher gave him a stern look, but fell silent.

"Merlin was friends with Arthur, and Arthur was friends with Merlin. They went well together. Arthur had a step-sister called Morgana-"

"Actually," the teacher started, but a few members of the class told her to be quiet.

"And Morgana had a servant named Gwen. There were lots of knights with funny names like Gw- Gwaine and Percival and Elyan. He was Gwen's brother.

"They all went on quests and adventures. They all did things that were good, and they all made mistakes. Eventually, Arthur died, and then a dragon told Merlin that he would come back one day. One day he will."

"That was lovely, Morwenna," said the teacher, "But it wasn't much of a story, really, was it?"

"Oh, I know lots of stories," she said, "Do you want to hear them?"

Lots of people nodded, and she told them every story she knew.

* * *

Merlin wiped away a tear as the doorbell rang. Oh, how he missed them. He loved the children, he really did, but so many memories had been brought back up, so many things that they could not know about. Long buried ghosts had come back to haunt him, and as his past came back to the surface, all the pain did too.

Morwenna was surprised to see that old Mr. Emrys was shedding a tear.

"Are you alright, sir?" she asked him in her lilting Welsh accent, "Should I go?"

"No, no. You're fine. Just memories, are all. I remember the woman I used to love."

"Meridian ad to go home today. I can sit with you, if you like, or tell you a story, or..."

"No, I can tell you a story. But you'll have to be grown up about it. It's very sad, and it reminds me of the girl I loved."

"Ok, then." she said, but just then then they were interrupted by a quiet, nervous knock at the door.

"Just children playing," Merlin said, but Mowenna darted forwards and heaved the door open. A confident, blond boy stood there.

"Hi," he said awkwardly, "Um, hi..."

"What are you after?"

"Stories. Um, I mean, I liked... your story. Do you have any more?"

Morwenna looked at Merlin with raised eyebrows. "Come in," he said, and the boy stepped inside.

* * *

_"Why did you do that?" she asked._

_ "Do what?"_

_ "Help me." _

_ The girl revealed that her name was Freya. Merlin managed to sneak her food, and even some of Morgana's clothes._

"What was the dress like?" Morwenna asked, and the boy, whose name was Archie, groaned.

"Who cares?"

"I don't know. Perhaps it was purple, with blue and gold embroidery." Merlin was beginning to dislike this child.

_They began to plan to run away from Camelot, where, if you remember, guards were searching for her everywhere. Merlin found supplies to bring to her cave, and they were soon ready. _

_ But Freya was hiding something from Merlin. She was cursed to become a beast at midnight each night. She couldn't control it or stop it, so she dreaded each night when another person would lose their life. One night, she got too close to a group of knights and was stabbed, by Arthur. She went back to the cave, where Merlin found her._

_ He took her a lake. They spoke to each other and Merlin tried to help her, but it was too late and Freya died in his arms. He gave her a beautiful funeral, but he never forgot her. He loved her very, very much and she loved him back._

Both children looked distressed.

"Did she come back?" asked Morwenna quietly.

"She came back to visit him, once, as a ghost, yes. I shall tell you about that another time, though. It's home time."

Morwenna started to say that they still had an hour to go, but she closed her mouth when she saw the tear fall to the floor.

* * *

Freya. Freya. The name felt like a slap in the face to him, but still it was soft and kind to his lips. Freya. Freya. Freya. Of all of them, he would bring back Freya.

* * *

"Meridian!"

"Yes?" Meridian stood by the door. He was meant to be staying away. His mother said that he had to stay at home on Wednesdays.

"Mr. Emrys cried."

"Really?"

She nodded. "He told us about a girl who Merlin loved named Freya. He said it reminded him of the woman he loved."

"Is he alright?"

"Yes, but best bring something for him tomorrow. Cheer him up."

Meridian smiled. "Will do."

"But... there is something else. Archie turned up."

His smile darkened, and he slammed the door shut.

* * *

Wake up, Merlin. She isn't coming back. And even if she did! Why would she love an old man? Arthur wouldn't. Gwen wouldn't. Gaius wouldn't. For goodness' sake, Morgana wouldn't! He had to stop dreaming. He had three children to look after. And one of them had magic.

What could he tell them? Another 'story' clearly, but what? Something funny? He had been stupid to tell them about that, stupid! They weren't ready!

Merlin stared into the fire at the ghosts of his past.

** Aaah, poor Merlin... I'll try to update soon!**

** If you have any requests for stories, just let me know! Thanks for reading!**


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